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Although sexual enjoyment raises Oxytocin levels in the brain, along with other endorphins which bring about that after-sex good mood, relaxed state and connectivity to one’s partner, not everyone feels that great emotionally after sex. And it may happen sometimes but not others. There have been some recent studies which are designed to determine the causes. So far, the evidence is inconclusive. There are many hypotheses, most with real thought provocation, but still no real answers. Individuals have reported that … Read More

A fantasy is a thoughtful process where one imagines a scenario that takes them to a place or situation of their choosing. We typically learn to fantasize as children. Children are encouraged to use their imaginations. It appears that with the advent of innovations such as virtual reality, children  may be doing less fantasizing on their own. That is, however, an area of study which is relatively nascent and not valid for this essay. Setting aside whether children’s fantasies have … Read More

Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a widespread problem affecting children and adults throughout the United States and many other so-called “first world” countries. It is most commonly discovered before the age of twelve years. Usually it is first noticed by parents or teachers when they find that the child has difficulty concentrating on tasks or when receiving instructions. Until recently, it was separated into two diagnoses: ADD (attention deficit without hyperactivity) and ADHD (attention deficit with hyperactivity). The most … Read More

When anyone makes a claim of sexual assault, no matter their age gender or sexual history, we have an obligation to listen. Reserve your opinions, do not challenge veracity and please resist offers of advice. Just listen. If you have no professional experience, do not pretend you know what is best. Offer support and then follow that up with actual support! Your personal experiences, or those of others you know are not relevant. Listen to everything if you can. Say … Read More

What you always wanted to know about them but didn’t know who to ask. Now you can read this and ask questions later. Threesomes, or threeways, as they are sometimes referred to, consist of three people, of any sex or gender, who engage in sexual activity together. Not to be confused with polyamory, which is about multiple romantic/sexual relationships. We’ll leave that subject alone for now. Promise to get to that some other time. Threesomes can be arranged in advance, … Read More

It’s June 2018 which means, in addition to other celebrations such as weddings and the like, it’s Pride month. Members and supporters of the LGBT+ communities are raising their flags and their voices for equality and inclusion. We can celebrate the advances made here in the USA and abroad, but there is much more that needs to be done. You may think that this is not your struggle, that you are not personally affected by the injustice which continues, that … Read More

Joining the fray or jumping on the bandwagon is more common than ever since the rise of social media platforms. As a mental health professional, I prefer to call my involvement as “weighing in on the topic.” Semantics, you say? Perhaps. But when I think a topic such as this is discussed without some basic information to help form opinions and conclusions, I become somewhat uneasy. So here we go. I started out by doing some online investigating. I dare … Read More

When assigning a label to define one’s sexual orientation, it has historically been limited to one of the top three. Yes, there is a fourth. One that there have been numerous discussions about, which is Asexual. However, that issue has been widely debated among professionals in the field of Sexology and Sexual Therapy. I am not getting into that debate here and now. Perhaps not ever within this forum. For today’s purpose, just try not to think about that for … Read More

After many years of practice as a sex therapist, I think that it’s time I got in on the discussion around sexual harassment and abuse. For those of us in this field, it is a conversation fraught with personal and societal pressures. I feel that I must start by saying that no one should ever be subjected to unwanted sexual advances or violations. Nobody. Not women, not men, not boys, not girls, not young nor old…..nobody! I have had this … Read More

How many times has this happened to you? You’re minding your own business, sitting in your living room or the kitchen or somewhere else you thought was safe, when your partner unexpectedly asks: What are you thinking about? You freeze. Your mind races. You stop to consider: What was I thinking about? Is there a good answer? Should I tell the truth? Why not? It wasn’t anything special. Or was it? Think fast because if you take too long to … Read More